


Enlightenment

by O_san



Series: Dating Tsukishima Kei According To Hinata Shōyō [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming of Age, Confused Hinata Shouyou, Feelings Realization, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei, Not Beta Read, POV Hinata Shouyou, Soft Kozume Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:21:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29040045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/O_san/pseuds/O_san
Summary: Hinata Shōyō was sixteen when he realized love between two boys is possible.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: Dating Tsukishima Kei According To Hinata Shōyō [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134266
Comments: 12
Kudos: 62





	Enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time to write in Haikyuu!! fandom, so please be kind with me ^.^  
> Anyway, there is no Tsukishima Kei in this one-shot, but many characters mention him. This is really a story about one-week journey of Hinata Shōyō finding a new side of himself and how confused he is at accepting it.  
> Hope you enjoy the ride!

Hinata Shōyō was sixteen when he realized love between two boys is possible. The realization was not something he expected, because the forehead kiss Bokuto-san gave to Akaashi-san after he spiked the ball spectacularly over Kuuro-san’s block happened so quick, he thought he saw it wrong. But the red ears the Setter had, made Shōyō’s doubt disappear, which unfortunately stopped him functioning for long seconds and resulted in him improperly staring at Akaashi-san from behind the net. 

The victim of his dumb act started to notice it by staring back at him. Akaashi-san’s sudden moves startled Shóyó so much, he gasped in panic. He was afraid the kind Setter would misunderstand his act. In reflex, Shóyó bent his back up-front to show how sorry he was before moving to his next position while looking down on the floor.

Once he got into the position, he took one last look at Akaashi-san, who surprisingly gave him a small understanding smile. 

Feeling grateful, Hinata smiled back.

* * *

“Did you surprise?” asked Akaashi-san, who suddenly sat on the wood floor of Nekoma’s gym beside the still-confused-over-the-new-founded-knowledge Shōyō. 

Surprised with how straight-forward the setter was at handling their unspoken situation, Shōyō coughed-out the water he just drank. Meanwhile, the older boy kindly patted his back to help him overcome it. As soon as Shōyō could control his body again, Akaashi-san repeated his question, which he could only answer with a small nod.

“Understandable,” said the setter in soft voices without looking at him, but at Bokuto-san, who still forcefully asked the now too tired Kuroo-san to block his spiking practice. 

From his perspective, Shōyō found the scene soothing his heart, as it was something he’s so familiar with. Unlike, the former. It’s the kind of look that his Mom gave to his Dad whenever he had a chance to go home from his aboard work-station. Some of his relatives called it love, but for Shōyō, it’s more than that. There is trust behind it. An unexplainable hope that despite all the harsh facts they had to endure for the sake of raising a family, they will remain the same. No matter how lonely they both are due to their long-distanced circumstances. 

And maybe, even not in the same way, what Akaashi-san and Bokuto-san have is a lonely journey too. 

Without thinking further over his action, Hinata put his hand over Akaashi-san’s, which laid on the floor, to grab it hard, “Bokuto-san will make it worth it, Akaashi-san. He will make you happy. So, don’t be sad.”

The older boy turned his head to Shōyō in surprise. He said nothing for a while before he smiled warmly, “He will, won’t he?”

He nodded.

And in return, he holds Shōyō’s hand back. At the back of his head, he believed he had straightened the misunderstanding between them. The only thing remaining unspoken between them is only ‘thank you’, after all.

* * *

“Are you happy with your belated birthday gift, Shōyō?” asked Kenma while looking down at him from his bed. 

Shōyō, who already laid down on the futon with half of his body being covered by the blanket, nodded multiple times to show how grateful he was for Kenma’s kindness to invite him to Tokyo for a week over summer vacation. Especially when the invitation turned out to be Kenma’s surprise for Shōyō’s last month’s birthday. 

His reserved best friend kept it secret until just this afternoon. And it’s already his third day in Tokyo. 

Shōyō literally jumped on his feet when Kenma brought him to Nekoma’s gym just to find that almost everyone he knows from Tokyo’s camp was there. To celebrated his birthday. To played Volleyball with him. 

He almost teared up when Bokuto-san hugged him tightly. If only his ace-teacher had not impulsively thrown Shōyō in the air over his own excitement, Shōyō must have his ugly cry instead of crying for help to the nearest person, which was Kuuro, who was not helpful at all.

“Thank you, Kenma! You’re such a great friend!” shouted Shōyō ecstatically. Meanwhile, Kenma only smiled at him softly before going back to his phone to play some game and gave Shōyō alone time to think again about today’s event. 

Despite his and Akaashi-san’s subtle agreement that they’re okay, Shōyō couldn’t help but still feel something bothering his heart and mind. And, this time, he was sure it wasn’t because of Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san, but specifically over the emotions, he has towards one specific person back at home. Which before today, never filled his mind this much. No matter how many times a slight look from the blonde prick made his heart go ‘gwah’. But now, it started to change, because deep inside, he was scared of what he felt towards the-one-person-who-hated-Shōyō-in-the-team probably the same feeling of what Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san have for each other. 

Because even with his simple mind, he knew it would definitely not turn out beautiful. Unlike theirs. 

“Shōyō?” called Kenma suddenly.

Surprised, he blurted out, “I swear, I don’t like Tsukishima like Akaashi-san likes Bokuto-san!” as he sat himself up to look eye-to-eye with Kenma’s.

Kenma blinked. And Shōyō gasped, before covering his mouth with one of his hands. His body started to shiver. And he didn't know why. What he knew is he’s afraid of what Kenma would do and say later. 

Because what if Kenma would find him weird for liking a boy? 

Or if he didn’t want to be friends with Shōyō anymore?

With the last bravery he had, Shōyō let out his thought,” P-Ple-Please, stay as my fri-friend, Ke-Kenma.” 

He had no idea why he’s starting to sob. But he knew that if Akaashi-san could look as sad as that before, then maybe, the relationship between two boys is not as easy as the boy and girl one. 

As soon as Shōyō’s body started to shake over his sudden overwhelmed feeling, Kenma dropped his phone and got down from his bed to the futon to hug him tight. The position was uncomfortable as he had to endure the small pain on his back for twisting his upper body to hug the other boy back. But the warmth he got from his best friend was way more important than anything at this exact moment.

Because it gave him the answer that Kenma won’t stop being his friend. 

“I’m your friend. Always,” said Kenma as he released Shōyō from his tight embrace. He stared at him for a while before he wiped away the remaining tears at his cheeks, “Don’t cry. You look ugly.”

By that, Shōyō smiled.

“Good. That’s more like Shōyō I know.”

* * *

The sixth day of his visit to Tokyo was the most memorable one, as Kenma, Kuuro-san, Bokuto-san, and Akaashi-san gave him a one-day experience for being a Tokyo boy. 

They went to the game center first based on Kenma’s suggestion. 

Once Bokuto-san started to get into his emo self because he kept losing the game all the time, they decided to stop playing and strolled down the street of Shibuya to taste any street food he found interesting. Surprisingly, Kuuro-san was kind enough to keep buying Shōyō any food he wanted. When Shōyō asked him to stop, the former Nekoma’s captain only grinned at him while patting his head like he’s a child. 

Aside from Shōyō’s frown over being treated like a child, deep down, he felt grateful.

The last event of that day ended up with them in the Karaoke room which Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san said was supposed to be their birthday gift for Shōyō. Fifteen minutes passed and it easily turned into f Bokuto-san showered his love toward Akaashi-san through love songs situation. Despite the constant insistence from Akaashi-san to Bokuto-san to stop singing to let Shōyō sing instead, the little middle blocker realized how the shy setter was actually flattered over his boyfriend’s act. 

“Akaashi-san, it’s okay!”

“But-“

“You should sing too, Akaashi-san! Let Bokuto-san know you love him as much as he loves you!”

Surprisingly, his honest remarks made Kenma chuckle while Kuuro laughed out loud while saying ‘I told you so’ toward Bokuto-san, who looked so dumbfounded. Meanwhile, the one who received his words blushed so hard, Shōyō started to feel bad, “Did I say something wrong?”

“N-no, just-,“stuttered Akaashi-san, still red in the face.

“You’re fine?!” asked Bokuto-san, after he went back from his shocking moment, “You’re really fine? Like Kuuro and Kenma’s fine?”

Shōyō turned his head towards his teacher, “Of course. You’re great together, Bokuto-san!”

“My disciple!” shouted the big boy while flopping down his body over Shōyō.

“My teacher!” replied him while circling his arms over Bokuto-san’s body to hug him, “Please, make Akaashi-san happy.”

“I will, my disciple!” and started to sob on his shoulder. 

At first, it was fine. Even Shōyō found it adorable. 

But when the cries got harder and harder, Shōyō knew something was off. Even the smile on his face disappeared. Because he didn’t know if what he thought at first as happy tears were not actually happy. Feeling confused, his eyes searched for another three pairs of eyes, who he hoped would help him understand the situation. 

But, none of them said anything but smiled at him.

It was only after minutes of no sign from Bokuto-san ever stopped crying, Akaashi stepped in. He grabbed Bokuto-san’s hand and dragged him to the corner of the darkroom to lay him down on the sofa. He let Bokuto use his lap as a pillow while caressing the older boy’s hair.

Despite Kuuro’s attempt to make the situation better by singing upbeat songs, Shōyō couldn’t help but take a glance in worry once in a while towards the lovers. 

* * *

The pain in his heart had not gone away, even after they walked back to Kenma’s house. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about how Bokuto-san looked so horrible before, and the fact it was because of him, made it worse. Did boy and boy relationships were so hard that even his coolest teacher could break down that bad?

“Chibi-chan, stop thinking so hard,” said Kuuro, with his back towards him.

“But, I made Bokuto-san sad,” mumbled Shōyō back.

“He was only overwhelmed because he thought you won’t see him as his teacher anymore after you looked so shocked over him kissing Akaashi on the court last time. No matter how many times Akaashi and I said you’re cool with it, he kept saying he’s afraid of losing his best disciple.”

He said nothing as he really didn’t know what to say.

Because really, it was so confusing. Wasn't Bokuto-san supposed to be happy if it was the actual problem? 

“Chibi-chan.”

This time, Kuuro was face-to-face with him. While Kenma stood close to him without saying words. Feeling messed up, Shōyō blurted out what maybe had been bothering him so much, “Is it so hard?”

“For them to date?”

He nodded.

“It was, before. But now, everyone kinda accepts it. At least, the Tokyo ones.”

“Then, why-“

“Because you’re important to him,” answered Kuuro sternly. He added, “And admit it, you looked at Akaashi like he was an alien that time.”

“But I-“

“I know, you didn’t mean it like that, but Bokuto thought you were.”

“But I already talked to Akaashi-san about it. I thought he understood.”

“He is. But Bokuto didn’t believe it.”

“I-“

“You’re what, Chibi-chan?”

“I really mean it when I say I want them to be happy.”

“And I think they understand now. So, stop thinking about it.”

Shōyō bit his inner bottom lips to repress his urge to cry. 

When he accepted Kenma’s invitation to visit him in Tokyo, he had never thought it would be a week where he always wanted to cry. The first time was because he was afraid of losing Kenma as his best friend. And now, this time, he was scared of something so abstract, so undefined, he couldn’t word it out. If Tsukishima was here and actually could read his mind, he would blame it for his stupidity at not understanding his own language. But he knew his inability to find the correct word this time was not because of that specific reason. It’s deeper than his lack of Japanese vocabulary. 

Because what seems perfect for Shōyō in the realm of what he wants to have with Tsukishima, even though it might never happen in this lifetime or even in the next life, had its own crack. 

Even if Kuuro said everything was alright right now, Shōyo didn’t find it comforting. As the sight of what he had encountered just thirty minutes ago was pretty much an opposite from what the older boy just stated. Whether the painful experience was from the past or maybe even until now, he fucking knew he had not like any bit of this.

And he hated it because he also wanted what they have at the same time. 

Kenma seemed to understand his situation when Shōyō unconsciously clenched his hands hard due to the foreign feelings he had. Without warning, Kenma holds his right hand into his, “Shōyō.”

The sudden warmth on his hand made Shōyō relax his tense body for a bit. When the small thumb caressed his hand gently, that was the time when Shōyō started to be able to control himself again.

He took a deep breath before smiling at Kuuro, “Okay.”

The older boy gave him a disbelief look with a glint of curiosity at the side but chose to pretend he was finding his answer acceptable. For now. 

He ended it by flicking his long finger at the area between Shōyō’s furrowed eyebrows, “Four Eyes would not believe me if I told him you could look this serious.”

And the sixth day officially ended with him bickering with Kuuro, with Kenma holding his hand tightly for the rest of their walk.

* * *

As he expected, the four of his closest Tokyo friends came with him to the train station. 

Despite feeling blue to leave all of his friends to go back to Miyagi, Shōyō smiled when Bokuto-san went back to his usual cheeky self. The older boy kept talking to him about every spike he had practiced with his University’s team-mates, and Shōyō listened to him earnestly. But after minutes of super fun conversation Shōyō likes so much, Bokuto stopped the talk by scratching the back of his head in an uneasy gesture.

Like he wanted to say something that Shōyō did not think ready to hear.

Deep down, Shōyō wanted to tell his favorite ace to not do or say whatever he would do next, but the fact Bokuto-san seemed to try his hardest to start whatever conversation he wanted to initiate, made Shōyō shut his mouth.

And waited instead.

“I’m sorry, my disciple. To- to make you worry over me yesterday. I- I just don’t want to lose somebody important to me anymore. I’m really sorry.”

Shōyō blinked due to the recent news he just heard, “Someone left you because you dated Akaashi-san?”

Bokuto nodded.

“Why?”

“He said it was unnatural.”

“What’s so unnatural about loving someone?”

“It was what he said. I don’t get it either.”

He had not realized how hard he’s breathing now before Bokuto-san snatched his wrist in sudden moves, “Are you okay? Are you fine? Are you mad at me?”

Shōyō put his hand over the older boy's one to pat it gently, “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at him for leaving such a great person like you, Bokuto-san.” 

“Don’t be. He was only one person. The others are quite fine with us. For all I know.”

“Good,” answered Shōyō while nodding.

“So, we’re fine?”

“Of course, Bokuto-san!”

“You’re really the best disciple of mine!” shouted the ace while ruffling his hair with big grins on his face. 

Feeling happy and content, Shōyō unknowingly blurted out what may be the only wish he had after being able to play Volleyball all the time, “I wish I can find my Akaashi-san too.”

It made Bokuto-san stop ruffling his hair, “You-,” said Bokuto-san with shocked eyes.

“I think so, but unlike you, the one I like will never like me back. And not, not because I’m a boy. Simply, because I’m me.”

Bokuto-san smiles at him softly, “I thought the same thing too before about Akaashi. But it turned out, he likes me as much as I like him. You can’t know if you don’t try, Shōyō.”

This time, it was Shōyō who was stunned over the older boy’s words, “Bu- But how?” asked him in a totally wrecked version of himself.

“Easy. Just asked him.”

“He hates me.”

“Then, you move on.”

“As simple as that?”

“As simple as that.”

“But what if he’s like the one that left you? I still want to play volleyball with him, Bokuto-san.”

“At least, you know. Because Shōyō, if this boy you like can’t even respect your feelings, then he’s not worth it in your life. Not even as a friend.” 

“I-“

Their conversation stopped as soon as Kuuro put his arm over Shōyō’s shoulder, “The train is here. Your captain is texting me constantly to bring you back in perfect form to Miyagi. I feel like I'm a kid kidnapper and not his friend. Never know crows can be so possessive.”

Hinata chuckled over that statement. 

Because deep down, he was also confused about how his team-mates, even sometimes the Meanshima, had some kind of dislike whenever Shōyō played with other players from another team. 

“Well, it’s time for me to go. Thank you for everything, Bokuto-san and Kuuro-san!” 

They smiled at him and Kuuro released Shōyō to let him approached Kenma and Akaashi, who’s patiently waiting at the back to give him the warmest hug he wished he would not let go. 

Hinata smiled as he realized how these four boys had become his new family too. Aside from his real one, and of course, Karasuno. 

**Author's Note:**

> Do you guys want more? Hehe


End file.
